Performance v/s Position

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral of the story:

It's Performance, Not Position that Counts ...

Just as it is with..............SEX! ..... and many other human activities!

死都不知道中圈套

在宽阔的美西草原上 ,牧场的主人为省一分钱是一分钱.

通常养一百只母鸡 ,只会养一只公鸡用以繁殖 ,毕竟公的又不会生蛋, 买多了也没有用.

一天 , 牧场主人买了一只新的年轻的公鸡回来.

因为觉得原本养的老公鸡也老了 , 所以找个年轻的来帮忙.

老公鸡看到这只年轻的公鸡就气呼呼的说 :"你来干什么! 我还强壮得很! 不需要你的帮忙!"

年轻的公鸡很无辜的说 :"我我…."

" 不要说了!" 老公鸡叫道;" 我就不信我比不上你们这些年轻人,这样吧 ! 我们来做个比赛, 你就试著追我吧, 如果跑不过我,你就乖乖离开这里 ; 如果我跑输你, 我就闭嘴, 这一百只母鸡都交给你."

于是这只年轻的公鸡开始追著老公鸡在草原上奔跑 .

" 砰!"突然牧场主人拿起枪来把年轻的公鸡杀了 ;并且骂道: "妈的! 这已经是第十一次我买到同性恋的公鸡了 !"

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小心职场老手!

"鸡 "是老的辣 !

A farewell to one great aunty...

We were all informed that Kim Poh (Dad's maternal uncle's wife) has pass on last Saturday night. There were wakes held for a few days before the actual funeral day last Wednesday. Have you ever wondered how Chinese funerals rites are performed?

My cousins Princess and aenah have blogged about the wake and funeral that took place so just give them a click :D

Finally, a fond farewell to Kim Poh, you'll be dearly missed by everyone....

Kids...

1, MOM...CAN YOU BUY ME A BRA?
"Mum, can I ask you something?"
"Sure! What about?"
"You see, I'm already fourteen and... I think it's just proper that I should own one."
"And what is this 'one' you're referring to?"
"Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?"
"No."
"But my nipples are already prominent and it catches attention."
"Nope."
"It will be just proper at my age..."
"I said no way...!"
"But all of my friends wear......!"
"RUDI ! How many times must I tell you that bras are for girls!?"


2. WHO SHOT THE BEAR?
An 80 year old man is having his annual check-up at his doctor's office.
He says to the doctor, "I've never felt better in my whole life.
In fact, I have a 20 year old bride who's pregnant and having my child..
What do you think of that?"
The doctor thinks for a second and then says, "Let me tell you a story. I know this guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a hunting season. But one day he's in a hurry to go hunting and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his rifle. So he's in the woods and suddenly a giant grizzly bear appears out of nowhere. He raises his umbrella, points at the bear, squeezes the handle and the bear drops dead in front of him.
What do you think of that?"
The old man says, "That's impossible. Someone else must have shot
that bear!"
"EXACTLY" says the doctor.


3. WHAT'S IN A NAME?
A Red Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
"Say, Mom," he asked, "why is my big brother named Mighty Storm'?"
"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." she replied.
"Why is my sister named 'Corn Flower'?"
"Well," his mother answered, "Your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her."
"And why is my other sister called 'Moon Child'?"
"We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived," the mother replied.
The mother then asked the boy, "Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?"


4. BIOLOGY LESSON
At a Biology class, the teacher asked the class:
"Why is that during childhood, gals tend to grow taller than guys?"
A student replied: "That's because guys have balls and that weighs them down."
Teacher: "Then why is that at maturity, guys tend to grow taller than gals?"
Student: "That's because gals have breasts and they are heavier than the guy's balls."

First attempt at online scrapbooking....

My Visual DNA

Pretty Interesting... Try it...

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My Personality Test...

My Personal Dna Report



Pretty surprise at the results... but is quite accurate description

From Ah Beng to his girlfriend

Dear Ah Lian

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok.

Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye.....

Worm regard,

Ah Beng