Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Performance v/s Position

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results," shrugged Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral of the story:

It's Performance, Not Position that Counts ...

Just as it is with..............SEX! ..... and many other human activities!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

死都不知道中圈套

在宽阔的美西草原上 ,牧场的主人为省一分钱是一分钱.

通常养一百只母鸡 ,只会养一只公鸡用以繁殖 ,毕竟公的又不会生蛋, 买多了也没有用.

一天 , 牧场主人买了一只新的年轻的公鸡回来.

因为觉得原本养的老公鸡也老了 , 所以找个年轻的来帮忙.

老公鸡看到这只年轻的公鸡就气呼呼的说 :"你来干什么! 我还强壮得很! 不需要你的帮忙!"

年轻的公鸡很无辜的说 :"我我…."

" 不要说了!" 老公鸡叫道;" 我就不信我比不上你们这些年轻人,这样吧 ! 我们来做个比赛, 你就试著追我吧, 如果跑不过我,你就乖乖离开这里 ; 如果我跑输你, 我就闭嘴, 这一百只母鸡都交给你."

于是这只年轻的公鸡开始追著老公鸡在草原上奔跑 .

" 砰!"突然牧场主人拿起枪来把年轻的公鸡杀了 ;并且骂道: "妈的! 这已经是第十一次我买到同性恋的公鸡了 !"

牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋牋 ?

小心职场老手!

"鸡 "是老的辣 !