My Mother Taught Me

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your
father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... "You are going to get it
when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking?
Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall out off that swing and
break your neck, your not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your
spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you're cold?"

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me."

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat
your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

10.My Mother taught me about SEX.... "How do you think you got here?"

11.My Mother taught me about GENETICS... "You're just like your
father."

12.My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born
in a barn?"

13.My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my
age, you will understand."

14.And my all time favorite... JUSTICE... "One day you'll have kids,
and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's
like."